(Black screen. Small drips reverberate, a cave may be imagined. Red lights pop out from around an undistinguished corner. First one, then 3, now five; of varying heights. They aren’t bright, but glow brighter each second. They bounce a bit, dancing without choreography. A sense that the lights are coming toward you is derived in their increasing luminescence, and soon the bouncing is accompanied by crumbly, squeaky impacts and the ruffling of gear. The dancing and impacts stop, and the lights now hover and waver back and forth a bit. Voices begin to speak, and sound as if through walkie-talkies.)

Strong and British, rich and deep in tone: Jenny, what are you picking up?

Jenny (light, young, and scholastic, with almost hidden Slovak tendencies): A fitful mess, Prof-er–I mean–Captain. Not quite sure what we stumbled into here.

The red lights move in conversational directions; each’s identity becomes more gradually recognizable. The ‘view’ does not zoom though, all lights can be seen still.

Full of joyful curiosity, one light bounces to right edge of view: Can I poke around a bit?? I’ll figure it out ‘fore you can say flapjack!

Captain: Hold, Charlie.

(Charlie groans audibly, a light shuffles back to the group) 

Captain: Jenny, check your readings. What do you notice in particular?

(‘Zoom’ on two lights, one higher and one lower. A few clicks and a popping sound.)

Jenny: The pressure. We’ve got enough atmo to go without suits, though the helium content’s too much for our lungs to process… 0.88 gee, hence the dripping…a cavern maybe 2% down from the crust?

Captain: Excellent! Now, does anyone get a sense of location?

(‘Zoom’ back out to group)

Charlie, trying not to sound annoyed: Jus’ let me look around; I can tell you the the quadrant and system in a minute or less. By the feel of the ground, I already know it’s a central planet.

Captain: Patience, Private; and how can you be sure? Fin; we haven’t heard from you yet! Everything accounted for?

Fin (Robotic and friendly): Uhh…why, yes sir! We’ve got enough for a 3 or 4 day excursion, as requested. Stun packs will give us 6 shots apiece. I’ve also taken the time to validate our landing status to ComSat 4, who’s confirmed receipt and bid us a fruitful tour, sir.

Light and musical, taken aback: 3 or 4 days? They send folks out that long..?

Captain: Very good! Fin, you’re top notch. And yes, Joanna, we do. Sometimes the only way to make meaningful progress is to immerse oneself, and this can take time.

Class, this is the final exam. To pass, you’ll need to surface for a recovery APC, and I can give you no help from this point other than ask questions of you. Get through it and you’ll be graduating primary explorer academy and moving on to jump school. You’re all right on schedule, and I want you all to know that I’m extremely proud of you.

Charlie: Yup, looking forward to it, now can I pleeeeeease look around???

Captain: Do as you see fit. I appreciate your enthusiasm Charlie, but you must never neglect the basics. Check your status before introducing new factors. It’s good science, and will keep you alive.

Charlie: Welp, good thing thing we’re in a simulation lab! Hey Fin, wanna buddy up?

(A light on one end cautiously moves to the other end, ‘Zoom’ to them.)

Fin: Uhh, sure! It’s not dangerous is it?

Charlie: Sim-you-lay-shun. It’s not real, you dolt.

Fin: Shut up; that’s what you said about the dive tank!

Charlie: That was totally different…Come on!

Joanna: Any photophobic concerns, Jenny?

Jenny: None, Jo, Light it up!

(Jo’s red light drops down, presumably to the ‘ground.’ Suddenly, the scene is washed in a white light, spilling from an orb sitting on the cavern floor. Two girls, mid-teens, next to a tall older man. They wear spacesuits and helmets, and stand in a short cavern about 8 feet in height. Moisture makes the rock shimmer gently; it shines off their visors.)

Captain (squinting at the flush of light): Jo, you’re taking things cautiously, and you know that I’m a fan, but make sure you’re not doing only what you know I want. (Theatrically, as if his life motto) Follow your instincts!

Jo (zoom to her, puts a hand on her head and concentrates; soft light emits from her temples): This is a divided cavern, and the walls are rich in cobalt. We’re on…Cambria. Specifically within the core?

Captain: Thaaat’s what I’m talking about! Star pupil. And you can tell Charlie later that he was correct, but don’t let it go to his head.

Jo (her face grows fearful; takes a step back and begins to tremble): Um…Professor?

(Sudden quakes. Jenny looks around, Captain/Professor draws a stun gun rifle from across his back, but still smiles.)

Captain/Professor: It’s ‘Captain,’ but yes? What is it Jo? What do you see?

Jo: The lab sir…we’re not alone in it.

Professor: (smile drifts way)…what did you say?

Jo: There’s been a mishap. From what I can tell, we’ve inadvertently transported lifeforms from the very place we were simulating.

Professor: That’s happened once before…okay students. Let’s prepare for battle.

(Professor hits a button on his chest, and suddenly Fin and Charlie are thrown back to the group like tether balls. Fin assumed they were needed, Charlie did not immediately pick up on it.)

Charlie: What’s the big idea??? We were just getting started!

Professor: Sh. (Charlie stopped talking immediately. Whispering now.) Draw your weapons and take your positions. We’re not alone.

(With one wall in view, they back up to it and form a curve around Professor. Charlie, a bit taller than the other students, holds out one arm straight in from of him, and a brilliant beam grows out from both ends, resembling a ‘butterfly’ sword. Fin, whose glasses produce a white sheen, softly claps his hands together and grows to double his size, sprouting two sets of extra arms; now much bulkier, he clenches his 6 fists, and veins of light run down his hulking spacesuit, which has grown with him. Jenny depresses a button on her sleeve producing a bow upon her back, which she loads with an arrow from a now-manifested leg quiver. Jo simply raises both hands in front of her, but both hands begin to pop and spark with minuscule lightning bolts. The all look incredibly bad-ass.)

Professor (locking and loading his rifle, notably a carbine with glowing ammunition, and activating a glowing targeting eye on an in-visor HUD): Pop quiz, students. Make your teacher proud.

(Camera zooms out rapidly into the darkness, shrinking the group smaller and smaller. Growls and snarling erupts from the black, until the group is a mere dot of light. Rock music kicks in.)